(insert intro) (news station) hamster #16: WELCOME TO HAMSTER NEWS TODAY WE HAVE 2 WHOLE GRAIN TOPICS FIRST WE INTERVIEWED A RANDOM HAMSTER NAMED EUGENIUSZ (hamster #2) WHAT WAY HE GOES TO SCHOOL ALSO LESS IMPORTANT THERES A CRAZY LUNATIC THROWING COINS OFF A BUILDING WE THINK HES PROBABLY BLIND AND THAT HE THINKS THAT THE SKYSCRAPER IS A WATER FOUNTAIN NOW WERE SWITCHING TO HAMSTER #8 DOING THE INTERVIEW (outside a house) hamster #2: uhh why are you guys outside my house hamster #8: SIR WHAT WAY DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL hamster #2: uhh im an adult i go to work not schoo- hamster #8: DID YOU JUST SAY YOU HAVE HOSTAGES IN YOUR HOUSE? hamster #2: uhh no uh anyway i go to work by bike hamster #8: OK GOOD NOW GIVE ME YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER hamster #2: no i dont wanna be on the news and i wont give you my ssn hamster #8: oh ok also at what hours do you go to work and when do you go back dont worry this is fully safe probably uhh i think no robbers are watching this hamster #2: uhh i go to work at around 8:30 am and come back at like 6 pm hamster #8: cool now were going back to hamster #16 for the rest of the news (news station) hamster #16: ok now were going to hamster 15 to see the crazed lunatic (a visibly blind hamster on a skyscraper and hamster #15 is looking at the crazed hamster on the ground) hamster #15: SO WE THINK HES BLI- (epic ad break screen) hamputer 5000 is the latest breakthrough in technology it offers the wheel 7 os which is much better than wheel xp and much much better than wheel vista we asked consume- i mean buyers for their reactions: eugeniusz: yeah its ok but i still installed penguin os on it tobias: uhh so it has good enough performance capitan ham: i like it hamster #16: it tastes like a motherboard remember kids to visit random websites (end of first ad) hamster 15#: CAN I SPEAK N- (start of second ad) los pollos hamsteronos we have high quality hamster seeds we are totally not fast food we are totally not running a secret apple farm and the restaurants are to wash money buy from us now to get yummy food this was gus hamfring talking (end of ad 2 and start of ad 3) tired of your water being too clean? buy the dirt water dispenser 2137!! here are some reviews from consumers frick i said the wrong thing now we gotta redo the thing uhh is this still recording (cut) hamster #16: seems like they sent over the wrong recording hamster #16: uhh no more ads i guess hamster #16: ok going back to hamster 15 at the skyscraper now (skyscraper) hamster #15: FINALLY also uhh the crazed lunatic is finally being rescued by proper authorities and he uhh keeps throwing coin- (hamster #15 gets hit by coin and uhh goes unconscious) (news station) hamster #16: ok so we have recieved two new news stuff fresh out of the sunflower farm, the first news are that the poophamfly2000 rocket will launch and the second are that uhh someone lost a single sunflower seed uhh lets start with the more important one so lets switch to hamster #13 (at park next to a tree with missing poster) hamster #13: ok so we are next to a tree with the missing poster uhh the reward for the seed is 50 million hamster bucks and sponsors told me to convert that to something called usd and that equals to about 4 whole dollars hamster that lost the seed: please find it hamster #13: so were going to hamster #29 for the rocket launch (at the launch) hamster #29: ok so the rocket is launching (epic launch) (rocket fail) (launch escape system fail) hamster #29: it seems like the rocket crashed, rip hamster #46, you will not be remembered also were going back to hamster #16 (news station) hamster #16: ok it seems like that was all the news for today and remember tune in to hamster news everyday at 10 am for information as fresh as sunflower seeds from a farm, goodbye! (outro)
